I used to think of waiting of a state of being in which nothing takes place. A time that is stagnant. A time that is wasted.
I was wrong.
The years that have passed while we have waited for our second child have been a tremendous time of growth and change.
The word perseverance has taken on a new, more personal meaning.
The domestic adoption process is very unpredictable. You can wait a day or years for a placement. Months can go by without hearing anything from the agency. You can find yourself in situations where you are required to make tough decisions for you and your family. Is this child a good fit for our family? Are we equipped to parent this child? Even if the answer is “yes”, there is no guarantee that the birth parents will choose you.
How does one prepare for a new addition, yet remain content in the present simultaneously?
I do not have the answer. I do not know of any magic formula. I have posed this question to many respected individuals and have not gotten answers.
I do believe that it takes tremendous strength and perseverance to exist in this state. And I have found those things in my relationship with God.
About a year and a half into waiting for child #2, I became so weary. The emotional roller coaster of expectations, hopes, and disappointment was sucking the energy out of me. I felt physically and emotionally weak and was filled with anxiety. Was this the journey I was supposed to be on? Was I on the right path? As I meditated on His Word, the Lord gently whispered,
“You can do this. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep going. I am here. I am right beside you every step of the way. You can do this. I led you here and I have not left you to do this alone.”
When I am weak, then I am strong
God sustained and continues to sustain me as I wait for His will to unfold in my life. When I meditate on His Word, I go from feeling like I want to give up on the adoption process to feeling like I am able to continue…from feeling like I cannot handle another disappointment to feeling confident that God will give me everything I need when I need it.
"Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:4