I am walking through the mall, and pass the Motherhood Maternity store.
I am on Facebook, and a video pops up of a friend announcing the sex of their baby in a really fun way.
I am in Target shopping for things to decorate my home, and I pass by the baby section.
Suddenly, I am thinking about all the dreams that haven’t come true for me. I am fantasizing about the “cute” maternity clothes that I have never been able to wear. The sight of a cute set of sleepers has brought me to tears.
I have been shot by an arrow.
They come out of nowhere. I am going about my day, feeling content, focused, accomplished. Those feelings are replaced by sorrow, fear, frustration, and anger. I feel like my world has been turned upside down. I am distracted. All I can think about are babies and how my life has not turned out the way I had hoped and planned. My heart aches.
Years into our journey to parenthood, those arrows still pierce my heart. And honestly, I get annoyed with myself. After all this time, shouldn’t I be immune to the distraction that these things create? Shouldn’t I be strong enough by now?
I am not immune.
I am not strong enough…
On my own, that is…
While I still deal with the negative emotions/distractions, I have learned to handle them better. Instead of consuming me and ruining my whole day (or week if I am to be completely honest), I have learned to remove the arrows and allow God to heal my heart.
God has taken me on a journey that has resulted in a deeper relationship with Him. He is healing wounds inside me that I never thought would heal. He is giving me an eternal perspective.
It has been a process...a long process. Oh, how I longed for it to happen fast! I wanted to be strong. I wanted the sadness to disappear. I wanted to be spiritually mature.
But growth does not happen overnight.
For me, the key to growth has been consistency in the Word. The only way to maintain an eternal perspective is to fill our minds with the words of our Lord.
Scripture has the power to change us-to make us more like Christ!
"…let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." Hebrew 12:2
I am so much stronger when I am in the Word! When envy threatens to steal my joy, I am able to resist that temptation and regain my focus on the Lord and on eternal things.