Somewhere along the way, I had started to ignore its horrors. It was just another one of those evils in the world that I could not control. It was legal and there was nothing I could do to change that.
My husband and I tried for years to have children. We tried artificial reproductive techniques several times without success. No doctor has ever been able to tell us why we cannot conceive.
In the midst of the pain of infertility, I couldn’t allow myself to think about the fact that there were thousands of woman getting pregnant and killing their babies. It would have made me even crazier than I already was. I avoided the posts on abortion on social media. I did not listen to segments on the news. When the Planned Parenthood videos were released, I had no intentions of watching them. I didn't see the point.
When I tell people that we have been waiting for years to adopt our second child, I am met with looks of disbelief:
Person: “But there are "so many children" out there that need to be adopted!”
Me: “really? Well where are they?”
Today, I got my answer.
I got brave and watched.
I saw the "so many children" in pieces, in a container that looked like one of my 9X13 baking dishes. The people in the lab were talking about the “specimens” as if they were talking about mining coal. The callousness of the technicians was, well, there is no word to adequately describe it.
Watching the videos sparked something inside me. Anger. I cannot in good conscience keep my head buried in the sand. I cannot turn my head the other way. I cannot just breeze over the stories that are being talked about in the news.
I just. Can't.
I can list reasons why I shouldn't get involved:
-I don't have anything to offer
-This world is too far gone
But those are just excuses.
Babies are being killed. People are being killed.
I will no longer look the other way. I will educate myself. I will pray. I will keep my eyes open for ways to save the preborn children. I want to be able to look my children and grandchildren in the eyes and tell them that I did my part to end the great genocide of our generation.