Comparison has been my #1 enemy.
It started in elementary school when I would compare friends. I always wanted to be friends with the pretty, popular girls…yep, even in elementary school. In middle school, I started to compare my clothes to the other girls. I was obsessed with the “big” name brands: you know, GAP, American Eagle. :; I have been a pianist ever since I was 4 years old, so comparing my abilities with others has been a constant in my life.
As a young adult, I was always comparing my status with my peers: single, dating, engaged, “close” to being engaged, married, married with children.
Oooo…that last one still stings. The toughest season of my life was the 7 years of infertility. I regret the days that I spent comparing myself to all the women around me that had children when I didn’t.
So much healing has taken place. God changed me. No doubt about it.
But the Enemy still has a way of whispering:
“Hey look at her. What she has done is more noble than you. She is more accomplished. Braver. More spiritual. She is better than you.”
I recently was added to this Facebook group for adoptive moms and foster moms. And when I say recently, I mean like an hour ago.
The feed is full of photos of families who have adopted. Many of these families are made of biological and adopted/foster children. Many of these families are larger than ours.
And the game begins.
“I don’t belong here. The way we came to adopt is so different from everyone else. These women have been blessed more than me: they get to give birth AND experience the miracle of adoption. And foster care..wow. These woman are so much braver. I don’t know that I could ever do that.”
And on and on it goes.
Ok. I don’t know about you, but I am tired of this game. It is time for something new.
My prayer is that God will make me aware the very moment those damaging thoughts start to swim around in my head. Instead of looking at people's differences and wishing that I were more like them, I want to EMBRACE the differences. I want to be GRATEFUL for where I have been and where God has brought me. I want to be FREE to cheer others on and look for ways I can support them in what God has called them to do.
We are all in the race together. We need each other! There is no time for allowing jealousy to creep in and cloud our vision.
Lord, help me to stop the game!
"since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us."